My Christmas wishlist

1. Everybody calling me doctor without me having to go through 5 more years of grad school. Haven't I done enough to deserve one of those honorary doctoral degrees they give to famous old people? I'll soon be old enough, it seems, and all my years of struggling with teenagers at Church, or teaching English to seriously learning-deficient people? C'mon, those ought to give me some credit hours.
2. A job where I can finally do what I love all day, like head karaoke singer.
3. A world where I could eat all the fried stuff with cheese I want, and not put on one single ounce of weight, or worry about my cholesterol level, diabetes risk or cancer threats. Millennium, maybe?
4. The final disappearance of stupid TV shows, like the Real Housewives and Jersey Shore.
5. A cute, smart guy asking me out with no stupid issues on the side. For references on what I mean, please see this 2-month old post.
6. All seasons of 'Lost' on DVD. Add to that, if you have the means, 'Alias', 'Doctor Who', and '24' (from what I hear, I still haven't watched it).
7. A Kindle. I'm humble enough, so I only need the cheapest one. I just want to be able to read my 600 ebooks on the go.
8. The new U2 Ipad. This applies to my (healthy) obsession with U2, and provides me with a lighter carrying option than my current 17-inch 5-pound laptop.
9. World peace.