15 reasons why you should date me

15. I will watch any kind of sports with you… if you don’t mind me surfing the web while we do so.
14. I have the most updated Facebook profile you will ever see.
13. If you like outdoor activities, I will encourage them… if you go with your friends.
12. I won’t ask you to come shopping with me.
11. My microwave food is to die for (literally).
10. Your dad will love me, 100% guaranteed.
9. My hair always looks good, regardless if I brush it or not.
8. I don’t eat much for dinner, so I’m usually a cheap date.
7. I will always let you drive.
6. I will never be fat; I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen (not that there’s anything wrong with that).
5. I’ll never rub it in your face that I’m smarter than you.
4. I’ll sing for you every day. And if you have ever heard me sing, you know what a treat it is.
3. When I take over the world, I will let you rule with me.
2. I can say “you’re so handsome” in 4 languages.
1. If you have gotten this far, I have proven to be very interesting, right?

I can come up with more reasons than these. If you are personally interested, please leave a comment and I will get back to you ;)

Baywatch

Talking about phobias, I hate water. Don't get me wrong, I will still take showers. It's probably a childhood trauma. Again, let me share a couple of stories.

1. Swimming was a part of my physical education class in high school. It was during these years that I became the best liar of all times. I came up with every conceivable excuse to skip class. My time of the month became my time of the week, until the instructor noticed; then I had to stage fake colds, cough attacks, flus and migraines.
2. When I was younger, my family went to the beach. As usual, I didn't go as far as 10 steps into the beach. My eccentricity paid off when my brother had to be carried out of deeper water, his left foot stung by a jellyfish. To this date, I will not go into the beach without wearing shoes. Thanks for the lesson, Carlos.
3. Once during a Church event for Young Single Adults, we went to a place with a big pool. Trying to deal with my childhood trauma in my own way, I had a few of my friends throw those who refused to follow my orders into the deep end of the pool. As my most resisting enemy faced impending submersion in water, he grabbed both my arms, and jumped into the pool, dragging me along with him. So you'd think after 5 years of swimming classes, I'd know what to do, right? Wrong. I fell like a rock straight to the bottom. But I had trained my disciples well, and at the risk of their own lives, a couple of them dove into the embrace of my soon-to-be watery tomb, and took me out of there. I couldn't even walk or talk straight afterwards.

Nowadays, whenever I have to go into one of those "chlorine graves", I conveniently stay in the kid's section. No shame in being safe.